We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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