party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Success! We fucked roommates!
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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