Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize