Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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