Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
