am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
