Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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