I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
We need to get me chipped asap
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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