just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
