also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
