she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Randomize
