he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
