At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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