goodnight i made you a song goodbye
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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