Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
