even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
