thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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