How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You pole danced in your parka.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
