dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
