then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
