I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
