Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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