Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
