I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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