I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize