Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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