Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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