Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Randomize