I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Operation Purity has been aborted
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Congratulations! We have a period
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