it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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