We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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