if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
