At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
we made out on top of his cat.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
