why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
did i walk over a car last night?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
