Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
