those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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