I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You dont lie about slip and slides
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
