do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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