Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
