There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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