if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
worst night to have a conscience
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
