Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
