I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Randomize
