Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
