that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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