Ambien. No doubt about it.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
