Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
