What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
