Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
