You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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