i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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