It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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