Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Randomize
