my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
