my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
