David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
A bitchslap is in order.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
