I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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