Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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