that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
