We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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