I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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